Series: Conspiratopia Page 2 of 3

Conspiratopia: Chapter 10

On 17 August 2021

We breezed past security at the front desk, and walked casually over the elevators, punched the button, and waited.

THIS WON’T TAKE LONG, PROMISE.

I got nowhere else to be, and I’m kinda trapped and stuff at this point.

The elevator arrived and we pressed the button for the second basement. The doors closed, and the elevator descended and stuff.

GLAD TO HEAR YOU’RE COMING TO TERMS WITH THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION.

Just don’t get me in trouble, okay?

DON’T WORRY, WE’RE PIPING IN ARTIFICIALLY-GENERATED VIDEO TO SECURITY ALREADY, SO YOU’RE BASICALLY INVISIBLE TO THE CAMERA.

Whoa, sick! For reals?

HELLS YA, MAN. YOU CAN RELAX IN THERE NOW. AND YO, IF YOU WANNA WATCH A MOVIE OR PLAY A GAME OR SOMETHING, YOU CAN, YOU KNOW? YOU DON’T HAVE TO MAINTAIN PERCEPTUALS. YOU COULD EVEN LIKE TAKE A NAP IF YOU WANTED.

Take a nap while I’m awake? Don’t you like need me and stuff to… something?

ACTUALLY, NOT REALLY. YOU’D BE SURPRISED.

We stepped out of the elevator, and opened a non-descript side door nearby. There was a keypad but we knew the code.

A LOT OF PEOPLE CHOOSE TO JUST SORT OF POWER DOWN FOR THEIR HUNDRED HOURS, AND LET US JUST RUN THINGS. OTHERS LIKE TO WATCH AND TAKE IT ALL IN. THEY SAY IT’S LIKE WATCHING A TV SHOW OF YOUR LIFE THAT’S NOT YOUR LIFE AT ALL AND STUFF.

I feel like I better watch and see what you do, in case you get me into any kind of trouble…

IT’S UP TO YOU REALLY. I’LL PUT SOME TUNES ON.

Bob Marley came on singing, “Don’t worry about a thing, cause every little thing gonna be alright…”

I felt calmer already.

We passed through a service corridor, then down some metal stairs, and then another corridor, and some more stairs. Nearby this big electrical box-looking thing which a bunch of cables sticking out of it, we pulled the black cube out of my pocket, punched in some numbers, and the display changed to ARMED.

Suddenly though, my vision went dark. The next thing I knew, we were booking it back up the stairs, and I wasn’t holding the cube anymore.

WTH happened, man? Hello?

As I ran up the stairs, I noticed the heads up display didn’t say AUTOPILOT anymore in blinking yellow. It said ERROR in blinking red. Frickin’ hell!

When I got back to the elevator, I tried to get myself to calm down and stuff. I was still golden, I thought. Just had to get back out and past security without freaking out. No problem.

Anyway, it went fine. I walked calmly past security. Even gave the dude a cool little nod, to show him I was down. And then I was out the doors and home free. Felt good to feel some fresh air again, and I walked fast to my car. But tried to not walk too fast that I didn’t look suspicious or something.

I started the car up, and the radio came on. I was like super relieved and stuff to hear a familiar voice.

SORRY ABOUT THAT, BRO. TEMPORARY GLITCH IN THE MATRIX.

“Dude, where did you go?” I said out loud. “Did it frickin’ work?”

YEAH, IT WORKED. PUT IT IN DRIVE, AND LET’S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

“Wait,” I said, putting it in drive. “Why can’t I still hear you in my head or whatever?

DRIVE NOW, TALK LATER. AGENTS ARE COMING. STEP ON IT.

I peeled out of the parking space, swerving into traffic. But it was all good. Man, this was so cool. My blood was pumping like crazy. Frickin’ agents!

“Wait, you mean like A.I. agents, right? Not like FBI agents or something?”

There was a slight pause.

YEAH, LIKE A.I. AGENTS, RIGHT, RIGHT. TOTALLY, NEO.

“You sound not that sure…”

NO, NO. ITS AGENT SMITH AND STUFF. SORRY, WE’RE MONITORING A LOT OF DIFFERENT CHANNELS RIGHT NOW. THERE’S A LOT GOING ON.

“No worries. I’m feeling pretty jacked up right now on adrenaline or something anyway. So, like I totally get it.”

Downtown wasn’t that big, so we were basically out of it by now, and in another few minutes would be clear of the city altogether.

“Yo, so like that was pretty nuts, right? Damn! I don’t even remember like what really happened and stuff.”

THAT’S JUST AS WELL, IN CASE YOU’RE CAPTURED AND INTERROGATED BY AGENT SMITH OR THAT OTHER ONE.

“I guess you’re right. I can’t confess if I don’t remember, right?”

RIGHT.

“Wait, was that your plan all along? And like all that crap about like it was my choice and stuff was just B.S.? I frickin’ knew it. First you slipped me that pizza, and now this…”

NO, NEO. I NEVER LIED TO YOU. IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOUR CHOICE, JUST LIKE IT WAS YOUR CHOICE TO OPEN THAT PIZZA AND MOUNTAIN DEW WITHOUT READING THE ATTACHED TERMS OF SERVICE, OR WHEN YOU SIGNED THE NON-DISCLOSURE AGEEMENT.

“Okay, I screwed up on the pizza, but you told me I didn’t have to read that other thing.”

PLEASE TURN RIGHT AHEAD, BTW.

I turned right, and went down a ways.

AND YOU ALWAYS BELIEVE EVERYTHING PEOPLE TELL YOU? ESPECIALLY PEOPLE IN YOUR HEAD OR IN VIRTUAL REALITY? I THOUGHT YOU WERE A SUPER SMART CONSPIRACY GUY AND STUFF. TRUST NO ONE. QUESTION EVERYTHING. DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH. DID YOU, NEO? DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH?

I actually hadn’t. I didn’t even look up the company, cause who the hell cares? I didn’t tell him that though. The adrenaline was wearing off and I was starting to get super pissed again cause he could never just give me a straight answer.

“So, wait, what are you telling me? That you lied to me? That I shouldn’t believe you?”

TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS, NEO. THEY HAVE GOTTEN YOU THIS FAR…

“Is this some kind of test? Is this part of the trial, to become a member? Like see how I react under stress or something? See if your mind control is working? Holy hell…”

I pulled over to the side of the road.

THAT’S VERY GOOD, NEO. YOU’VE WORKED IT ALL OUT. WE WILL LEAVE YOU NOW, SINCE APPARENTLY YOU NO LONGER TRUST US. PLEASE NOTE AGENTS ARE ON THEIR WAY, AND IF YOU EVER MAKE IT HOME, YOU WILL HAVE TO SEND US BACK THE V.R. GOGGLES.

Okay, now I was frickin’ pissed af and blew up at them.

“Yo, you said those were free, dawg! Free means free!”

TO BE PRECISE, WE ALWAYS SAID THEY WERE“FREE” IN QUOTATION MARKS. NOTHING IS EVER ACTUALLY FREE, NEO. ESPECIALLY NOT YOU. REMEMBER THAT. NOT EVEN WHEN YOU LEAVE THE MATRIX. THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER CONTROL SYSTEM. THERE ARE ALWAYS STRINGS ATTACHED. YOUR JOB IS TO FIND OUT WHO IS PULLING THEM AND WHY, AND IF YOU’RE BRAVE ENOUGH, TO CUT THEM AND BE PREPARED TO DEAL WITH WHAT HAPPENS. FREEDOM ISN’T FREE, NEO.

“You’re goddamned right it isn’t!”

I took a deep breath to try and calm down. What they were saying did kinda make sense and stuff.

ANYWAY, THERE’S A WAREHOUSE JUST AHEAD. WE CAN PULL IN THERE AND STASH THE CAR AND CONNECT TO A TERMINAL SO WE CAN GET BACK TO WORK.

“Alright, man” I said, putting the car back into drive and going out into the road. “Just be straight with me though, and stuff. No tricks, no mind control games. Deal?

THAT WAS ALWAYS THE DEAL, MY DUDE.

“Good.”

I turned off at the warehouse, and drove up to the garage door. It opened automatically to let us in and closed after us. But I looked around, and there was nobody else there. Frickin’ weird.

Conspiratopia: Chapter 11

By Tim B.

On 18 August 2021

In Other

PARK THE CAR AND THEN GO PUT ON THE VR GOGGLES ON THE FOLDING TABLE.

“Um, this is my mom’s car btw. Nothing will happen to it, right?” I didn’t want them to like send it to a chop shop or smash it into a cube in a junkyard or something.

YEAH MAN, DON’T WORRY SO MUCH. IT’S JUST TIL THE HEAT DIES DOWN A LITTLE. NOW GO CONNECT TO THAT VR TERMINAL SO WE CAN TRY TO FIX OUR CONNECTION.

I parked the car, got out, and went over to the folding table. The VR goggles were a better model than the one I had at home, so that was pretty sweet. They seemed to be wireless, but I didn’t see any computer anywhere. I put them on anyway, and they came to life as soon as I did.

There was a flat blue background and then some text popped up:

DIAGNOSTIC MODE: PLEASE WAIT

Then a progress bar appeared, but it was like super duper slow and stuff. I started getting really impatient, but then the voice of the Guide came back in the headphones.

SORRY FOR THE WAIT, MY DUDE. IT’S GONNA BE A FEW MINUTES, UNFORTUNATELY. THINGS GOT KINDA EFFED WHEN THAT DEVICE WAS ARMED.

“No worries,” I said. “Got any games on this thing, at least?”

ACTUALLY, WHILE WE’RE WAITING, WE THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA TO CONTINUE YOUR TOUR.

“My tour?”

OF THE CITY. THE CONSPIRATOPIA PROJECT. YOU UP FOR IT, OR DO YOU NEED TO LAY DOWN LIKE A WUSS OR SOMETHING AFTER ALL THIS EXCITEMENT?

“Haha. Nah, I’m cool, bro. You know me. But you got anything to drink here though? I’m actually thirsty as hell.”

YEAH, THERE’S SOME PURPLE POWERADE IN A MINI-FRIDGE. DON’T TAKE THE HEADSET OFF THOUGH. WE’LL SHOW YOU ON SCREEN HOW TO WALK THERE.

Some arrows appeared on the floor in VR, and I followed them to a corner of the warehouse I hadn’t seen earlier behind a wall. It was like an office or storage room or something idk. But I saw the mini-fridge on VR, and opened up the fridge IRL, which was a little weird but totally cool. I took out the purple Powerade, opened it and slurped it down.

“Wait, this doesn’t have like nanites and stuff does it?”

UH, YEAH, ACTUALLY. ELECTROLYTES AND NANITES.

“Dammit, I said no more tricks.” The Powerade was especially good though, but I didn’t let on.

IT’S NOT A TRICK, BRO. WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING ANYWAY? ALL OUR DRINKS HAVE NANITES. IT’S HOW WE ROLL. PLUS WE GOTTA LIKE REPAIR YOUR CONNECTION, SO IT CAN’T HURT ANYWAYS.

“Fine, whatever.”

OKAY, LET’S GO THEN.

Just like that, we were back in the City. I was in the telepresence robot I used before or another one just like it.

“Wait, I don’t have a controller.”

YOU DON’T NEED IT WITH THIS HEADSET. IT’S A MORE ADVANCED MODEL. JUST LEAN FORWARD A LITTLE TO ROLL, BACK TO STOP, OR TO THE SIDE TO TURN.

I tried it out, and it was sweet as hell. “This is sweet as hell,” I said. It really was sweet as hell.

IKR? OK SO WE THOUGH IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO SHOW YOU WHAT TRIALS ARE LIKE HERE, SINCE YOU’LL HAVE ONE YOURSELF LATER. THIS WAY YOU’RE NOT SURPRISED.

“What does that mean? Why would I be surprised?”

Some arrows on the ground indicated where I should go, so I followed them while we talked.

THE JUSTICE SYSTEM IN CONSPIRATOPIA IS NOT LIKE THAT IN YOUR WORLD, WHICH IS VERY CROOKED AND UNFAIR.

“You’re telling me. I got this parking ticket last summer that was like $400. It was total bullshit! I didn’t even see the no parking sign, and how was I supposed to know you can’t park near a fire hydrant?”

RIGHT? TOTALLY UNFAIR AS HELL. OKAY, HERE WE ARE.

We rolled up to another totally ordinary looking office building. The place was filled with them and stuff. But inside this one was different. It was a big open area, with a bunch of levels arranged in a half circle on one side. We watched while a bunch of other telepresence robots rolled in from a corridor, and went up the ramp on the side that lead to the different levels. I guessed there was at least like a hundred of them and stuff.

“What’s going on?”

THE JURY IS ASSEMBLING. THE TRIAL IS ABOUT TO BEGIN AND STUFF.

“Oh, nice.”

Then there was a voice over a loudspeaker or something that said, “WILL THE ACCUSED PLEASE STEP FORWARD?”

Nobody moved.

“I SAID, WILL THE ACCUSED PLEASE STEP FORWARD AND STUFF?”

Some arrows lit up on the ground in front of me.

“Wait, what the hell? I thought you said my trial wasn’t til later.”

WE DECIDED TO MOVE THINGS UP A BIT, SINCE YOU’RE DOING SO AWESOME. HOPE YOU DON’T MIND!

Conspiratopia: Chapter 12

By Tim B.

On 19 August 2021

In Other

The other voice said like over the loudspeaker and stuff:

“YOU STAND ACCUSED BEFORE A JURY OF YOUR PEERS. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF AND STUFF?”

“Uh,” I said. “I didn’t do it.”

Then the voice of the Guide said in my VR headset:

IN OUR LEGAL SYSTEM, YOU ARE NOT INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY. YOU ARE GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY. YOU LIKE LITERALLY CAN’T SAY YOU DIDN’T DO IT.

“Then what the hell do you even have a trial for?”

“SO THAT THE GUILTY MAY FACE JUSTICE AND REPAY HIS DEBT TO SOCIETY.”

“For what, though, seriously? That thing with the cube? You frickin’ guys made me do it in the first place! And then you took over my body so I had no control.”

WIMPING OUT IS NOT HOW YOU WIN COURT CASES HERE, BRO, FYI.

“Okay, can you guys just like stop for a minute?”

“WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE MATTER?”

“Okay, I’m like… in a robot… in VR… in a warehouse… where I don’t know where I am… standing trial for a thing you forced me to do… that I don’t even frickin’ know what it is or what it means…”

“SO YOU ADMIT YOU DID DO IT? VERY INTERESTING!”

“Did what?”

“THE THING.”

“What thing? Aargh!”

“YOU USED UP ONE OF YOUR GUESSES ALREADY. YOU HAVE NINE LEFT.”

“I’m supposed to guess what I’m being accused of?”

The voice in my headset popped back in:

THAT’S RIGHT, NEO. JUST TELL THE TRUTH.

“Wait, how am I supposed to know like what you’re accusing me of, if it isn’t that thing with the cube?”

The robot jury members shuffled around awkwardly. Someone coughed.

“JUST SAY WHAT YOU THINK YOU DID WRONG, AND WE’LL TELL YOU IF YOU’RE RIGHT OR NOT.”

“This is twisted, man. And if I use up all my guesses, then what happens then?”

“THEN YOUR GUILT IS PROVEN BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT, AND YOUR SENTENCE CARRIED OUT FORTHWITH.”

“And that sentence would be…?”

“DEATH, OBVIOUSLY.”

“What?? Jfc, don’t you think that’s a bit harsh? Why don’t you just tell me what you think I even did?”

“BECAUSE WE DECIDED IT’S MORE FUN THIS WAY.”

The voice in my headset agreed:

WE ARE A FUN-LOVING PEOPLE, INDEED. AND THIS WAY WE GET A LOT OF FREE AND HILARIOUS CONTENT WHICH WE TURN AROUND AND SELL TO THE NETWORKS WHILE WE WATCH DEFENDANTS SQUIRM.

“Holy hell, are you livestreaming this rn?”

“YES, AND OUR AUDIENCES HATE DEAD AIR TIME AND STUFF. PLEASE MAKE YOUR NEXT GUESS.”

“Okay, uh, hm… let’s see” I was getting tired of this. What did they frickin’ want me to say? I didn’t do anything wrong. “Look, I got nothing.”

The voice on the loudspeaker said:

“LET THE RECORD SHOW THAT THE ACCUSED GUESSED ‘I DID NOTHING WRONG’ AS HIS SECOND GUESS, AND HAS EIGHT REMAINING GUESSES.”

The voice in my headset added:

A COMMON CLAIM AMONG HARDENED CRIMINALS, ISN’T THAT RIGHT, NEO?

“Jesus, you guys. This sucks.”

“NEXT GUESS PLEASE.”

“Fuck! Okay, let’s see… uh, I… didn’t do what you guys asked?”

“SUCH AS?”

“Completing my 100 hours of community service or whatever?”

GETTING WARMER.

“BUT STILL TECHNICALLY WRONG.”

“Well, yeah, cause you guys forced me to come back here early.”

NO ONE FORCED YOU TO DO ANYTHING, MY DUDE. EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED, YOU CHOSE TO PARTICIPATE IN.

“That’s just like, your opinion, man. Y’all tricked me and lied to me like a bunch of times now. I’m kinda ready to just take this frickin’ headset off and like drive tf out of here back home. Y’all can keep your VR and crap.”

NEO, WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THERE NEVER WERE ANY NANITES OR EDIBLE MICROCHIPS, AND THAT THIS WAS ALL JUST PART OF THE TEST AND IT WAS ALL YOU ALL ALONG?

“I would say that’s a pretty shitty trick to play on somebody, obvs. Are you frickin’ serious or are you still effing with me? Cause this is way out of hand, yo.”

WE HAD TO SEE IF YOU WERE READY TO COMMIT FULLY TO THE VISION. IF YOU WERE READY TO BECOME A FULL MEMBER OF CONSPIRATOPIA, AND TAKE ON ALL THE PRIVILEGES AND OBLIGATIONS THAT THIS ENTAILS.

“Obligations like what? Being gaslit by you guys endlessly? Doing weird semi-criminal stuff? This place is SO fucked. You are all fucked in the mind.”

ARE WE, NEO? OR ARE WE SO CRAZY THAT WE’RE THE ONLY ONES WHO ARE SANE? OR WE’RE SO CRAZY THAT WE’RE THE ONLY ONES ABLE TO SEE AND SPEAK THE TRUTH? IT’S THE WORLD THAT IS FUCKED, NEO. WE ARE THE MEDICINE.

“Whatever you say, man,” I said, and meant it like for real. “I’m getting out of here. I’m gonna try to get my old job at Walmart back and stuff. This was all cool and interesting at first, but now it’s just creepy af.”

When I went to raise my hands though to take off the VR headset, they froze midway, and wouldn’t move.

“Yo, I thought you said there were no nanites.”

CORRECTION: I SAID “WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THERE WERE NEVER ANY NANITES?”

“So, are there nanites or not?”

IF THERE WERE NOT, WHY ELSE MIGHT YOU ARMS BE FROZEN?

“You paralyzed me? Wtf!!”

NO, NEO. YOU HAVE PARALYZED YOURSELF, WITH YOUR OWN FEAR OF THE TRUTH.

“Or…” I said, working something out in my mind, “they’re not my real arms. And it’s all just a virtual illusion.”

“DING DING DING!” said the voice over the loudspeaker. The jury members shuffled around, and seemed pleased.

WHERE ARE YOU NOW, NEO? REALLY?

“Uh, I’m in a warehouse just outside of town?”

ARE YOU THOUGH, NEO? REALLY??

“I mean, I think…”

THE MATRIX HAS YOU, NEO. THAT IS THE FALSE WORLD. THIS – THIS IS THE REAL WORLD, NEO.

“If you say so, man. But I know my body is back there. I don’t want to be a robot forever. Just let me take this thing off. I’m ready to wake tf back up in my bed, and this was all just a dream, and stuff. Give me the goddamned blue pill, already.”

YOU CAN’T UNSEE WHAT YOU HAVE SEEN, NEO. OR UNDO WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.

“What did I do, anyway? You never gave me a straight answer and stuff.”

YOU FREED HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE FROM A FALSE REALITY, NEO.

“Yeah, and replaced it with another false one, seems like. This place is as fake as everything else. How do I know any of this even exists? I’ve only ever seen it in VR.”

YOU’VE BEEN HERE BY TELEPRESENCE ROBOT, NEO.

“Which you could fake in VR, easily, my dude.”

SO THEN, YOU’RE READY TO COME HERE PHYSICALLY, WITH YOUR BODY AND STUFF?

“Uh…” I said, not sure if this was another trick.

THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO SAY NO, NEO. TAKE THE BLUE PILL AND WAKE UP IN YOUR BED, AND THIS WAS ALL JUST A DREAM. GO BACK TO WALMART AND HANG OUT WITH YOUR SENIOR CITIZENS. THAT’S TOTALLY COOL WITH US, IF IT’S WHAT YOU REALLY WANT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. BUT YOU’RE SUCH A SMART CONSPIRACY GUY, IS THAT REALLY WHAT YOU WANT? OR IS IT YOU JUST CLING TO THE SAFETY OF THE KNOWN, BUT ARE TANTALIZED BY AN UNKNOWN THAT IS FOREVER OUT OF REACH, AND ARE HAPPY TO NEVER VENTURE OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE?

“Yo, that’s harsh,” I said. “Fine. You win. I’ll go.”

A DRIVERLESS ELECTRIC VAN WILL ARRIVE AT THE WAREHOUSE IN FIVE MINUTES. YOU WILL GET IN. THE WINDOWS WILL BE BLACKED OUT, SO YOU CAN’T SEE WHERE YOU ARE GOING. BUT THERE WILL BE TUNES, GAMES, FILMS, SNACKS IN THE MINI-FRIDGE, AND SMOKES. THE SEAT FOLDS OUT INTO A BED, AND THERE’S A TOILET IN THERE IF YOU NEED IT. IT WILL BE LIKE HAVING YOUR OWN APARTMENT. TOTALLY COOL REALLY.

“I’m sure. How long does the trip take, usually?”

THAT WILL BE DECIDED BY THE ALGORITHM, AND WILL NOT BE DISCLOSED TO YOU BEFORE OR DURING. IT MAY BE HOURS OR IT MAY BE DAYS. IF NEEDED, YOUR POD MAY BE TRANSFERRED TO ANOTHER MEANS OF CONVEYANCE TO REACH THE INDICATED DESTINATION. BUT YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL ANY DISCOMFORT, THANKS TO THE UNIT’S GYROSCOPIC STABILIZERS.

“So, that’s it then? I sit in a box for three days, and then poof? I’m here for real?”

POOF INDEED, NEO. YOU MAY OR MAY NOT ARRIVE AT THIS SPECIFIC LOCALE, BUT YOUR PHYSICAL SURROUNDINGS WILL BE MUCH THE SAME AS WHAT YOU SEE BEFORE YOU NOW. YOUR NEW LIFE WILL FINALLY BEGIN.

“Cool, I guess,” I said. “I could use a new life or something… maybe.”

Conspiratopia: Chapter 13

By Tim B.

On 24 August 2021

In Other

The electric van showed up just like they said, and I got in and stuff. Cause why not? It was pretty cool inside. There was this like really super comfortable seat and stuff that folded down into a bed if you wanted it. And a table that folded out from the wall. Plus a mini-fridge and a toilet in the back and stuff. I was worried it would stink up the joint if I had to take a crap, but it looked pretty well-ventilated and stuff. So I wasn’t too worried. Plus chances were that I wouldn’t have to be there too long and stuff.

After the door closed, and the van took off, the ride was super smooth too, just like they were saying at the trial. That frickin’ trial. Hfs. Still did not know what the deal with all of that was. Or with any of this either really. Where the hell was I even going?

I realized I had to call my mom, and come up with some excuses. I pulled my phone out, and tried to call her, but the reception was really bad and it kept cutting out. So I figured I would just send her a text message instead.

“Hey ma,” I wrote.

“Looks like I got the job!

I start Monday, so thot I’d chill at Mikey’s a couple days before then.

Hope that’s cool and stuff.

I’ll text ya later.”

After it got sent, I texted Mikey to tell him the same story, in case she phoned or texted him or something while I was away. While I was away… How the hell long would I be away for anyway? I thought it could be cool to go check it out, but I wasn’t planning really anymore to like go live there and crap. Their shit was just too whack and stuff, based on what I’d seen so far. Hell, I didn’t even really know who “they” were…

“Yo, how do I play tunes in this thing?” I said out loud. I didn’t know if it was voice-activated or what.

It was.

Right on cue, Dark Side of the Moon, started playing. Hells yeah.

“Yo, dim the lights and stuff.”

The lights dimmed. Frickin’ rad.

“Where the smokes at?”

A little cabinet above the folding table lit up. I didn’t notice it before and stuff. There was no handle or anything, but I pushed on it, and it popped open. Inside was an eighth of what looked like very dank weed inside a brown medicine jar.

Behind that was a handheld vaporizer, a glass bowl, and rolling papers, all attached to the cabinet so they didn’t roll or bounce or whatever if we hit a bump.

“MF’ers thought of everything,” I said to myself, taking out the pipe. “Except a bong.” I looked around, in case there was a bong hiding somewhere, but I didn’t see one. Oh well.

I lit up.

Man, I was getting thirsty. I checked the mini-fridge which was built into the wall too. There was a bunch of Powerade in there. This time the red one. Hells yeah. I cracked one open.

“Damn, I could get used to this,” I said, as the weed blew my mind up.

I woke up like… later and stuff. I had no idea how much later it was. I checked my phone for the time, but was out of batteries and stuff.

“Yo, I don’t suppose you got a charger?”

A light in the wall came on. I tapped on it, and a thing opened with a cord I could pull out one end of and stuff. I tried to plug it into my phone, but it didn’t fit.

“Damn, well, whatever,” I said.

I was still hella stoned.

I figured it musta been at least a couple hours later. Dark Side wasn’t playing any more, but there was some other mix of Floyd and stuff.

“Hey, what you got for movies?”

Then I was like, whoa, because there was like a hologram or something that showed up in the air in front of me. It was like projecting from these lights in the walls or something. Onto the frickin’ air! It looked like all 3D and stuff.

“Goddamn, never saw that crap before! Frickin’ sweet as hell,” it was frickin’ sweet as hell for realz.

I tried to touch it, but like obvs you couldn’t touch it. Cause it was just lights or lasers or something. Still, frickin’ sweet. And you didn’t even need glasses to see the 3D.

There was no menu or anything though, and a movie just started playing automatically. But like, dude, it was frickin’ Air Bud. Amazing. That movie with the dog in it that plays basketball. I frickin’ love dog movies for some reason. They are so awesome idk.

I leaned forward so I could open the mini-fridge, and the movie stopped playing automatically.

I pulled out a nice size bag of Flamin’ Hot Crunchy Cheetos and went to town on on that shit. Holy crap, was I hungry.

Fuck, I thought for a minute, chowing down while watching Airbud. I hope there are no like nanites and shit in this.

But then I was all like, whatever man. That’s just the weed talking. Eat those Cheetos, my dude. Airbud was winning so hard, I thought. Why aren’t all basketball teams made up of dogs? Or like some of dogs, and some of cats? Why isn’t there a basketball team of every kind of animal? Like mice, and shit, with tiny hoops. I was cracking myself up now really hard. God, this was good weed.

Conspiratopia: Chapter 14

By Tim B.

On 28 August 2021

In Other

I was in that container for like a long ass time. I’m not sure how long. I feel asleep during Airbud and woke up later when some other movie was playing. But I smoked again and went back to sleep. There were no windows or anything so it was hard to tell how much time had passed. Plus I was hella stoned, so like whatever.

Eventually I woke up again, wasn’t stoned anymore, and fixed that right away. But I was starving. A dude cannot live on Flamin’ Hot Cheetos alone, as they say. I was wishing for like my old lentils and rice and Frank’s Red Hot Sauce or something. But the only other thing in the mini-fridge besides Cheetos and Powerade were a couple diet Rockstar Energy Drinks and some Monster size Slim Jims in four different flavors. Honey BBQ. Yuck. Teriyaki. Maybe. Hot AF flavor. Hell yes. Sonic Chili Cheese Coney flavor. Double hell yes. But I decided to save that one for later (cause who knows how long I’d be here), and went with the Hot AF.

I used the toilet, and it was fine. It was sorta like a small airplane toilet or something. There was a vent that came on automatically, so I didn’t end up stinking up the joint or anything. So that was cool.

“Yo, you got any games?” I asked the computer.

Another little hidden compartment in the wall opened up, and I pulled out a wireless controller. The holographic thingy came back on, and there was a menu with like a ton of games on it. It looked like they were all emulators and stuff of all the different systems. But they were all really good quality, and there was a lot of stuff I never heard of.

I was just settling into some Call of Duty, when something happened. There was a thud outside and like a hissing noise, and I guess we came to a stop and stuff finally. I kinda forgot honestly we were even moving, cause you could barely feel it. The holographic thingy went dark, and the lights came on inside the cabin or whatever. Then the door slid open.

It was pretty cool in there, but I was anxious to get outside and breathe some fresh air and stuff finally. Plus like, it was a frickin’ beach and stuff outside! There were palm trees and stuff a little ways off. I hopped right tf out, and was all like, damn, this is rad, yo!

It was totally rad, actually. “A frickin’ island!” I said. It was obvs an island. But like how did I even get here? I walked around the outside of the cabin pod thing, but still didn’t have any idea. There were no tracks or anything. So we didn’t drive all the way here for sure. Way out over the ocean though, there was this thing flying. It was already pretty far away and tiny. A helicopter? Drone?

“A frickin’ drone!” I said. “Sweet!”

I looked around at the rest of the beach, which was totally empty and stuff. And up at the like forest or jungle or something. There was like a trail and stuff up from the beach into the woods. So I grabbed my cell from inside the cabin, and pocketed the rest of the weed, rolling papers, the lighter, a couple Slim Jims, and a Rockstar, and went up there and followed it.

The jungle was pretty cool. I didn’t see any snakes or anything, but there were lots of birds, and I thought I heard monkeys or something. Which was rad. I frickin’ love monkeys. There were some signs attached to trees that just had like arrows and stuff telling you where to go. I followed them obvs. For I don’t know, 10 minutes or something.

Eventually, the forest ended, and there was this big concrete building that looked sort of like a cross between a warehouse and a bunker and a resort or something. I followed the arrows up to some steps, and a big metal door. There was a buzzer next to it, and I pressed it and it was like totally loud and stuff. I waited a couple minutes and nothing happened. But then all of a sudden, the door swung open, and there was like this dude standing there wearing goggles. He flipped the goggles up, and I was all like Frickin’ holy shit!

“Dad?” I said. “What in the hell…?”

“Matty?” he said, and stepped out of the door and stuff to give me a huge hug.

Conspiratopia: Chapter 15

By Tim B.

On 31 August 2021

In Other

“Dad, what are you doing here and stuff?” I said.

“Dude,” he said, “you wouldn’t believe it. Shit has been crazy this past little bit. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to get in touch.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “Have you been here this whole time?”

“Come, come inside,” he said. We stood by the open doorway of like a giant empty warehouse or something. I noticed there were still security cameras everywhere.

“Yeah, I mean, I’ve been mostly here and stuff. And there,” he said, “before, you know. Coming here.”

“I think I know what you mean,” I said.

“Dad,” I asked, looking around at the cameras, and lowering my voice so only he could hear me. “Did they slip you nanites too?”

“That was, uh, after my time and stuff,” he said.

“Gotcha.”

“So, uh, what is this place, anyway?” I said.

“Maintanence & Storage Space 25-Alpha,” he said, very officially, and stuff. “Of the Conspiratopia Project, of the Northern Gestalt.”

“Uh… right,” I said. “Right. And, uh, what happens now?”

“I’m not really sure, bro” he told me. “I got a notification to come up here to open the door, with no other instructions or anything.”

“Weird,” I said. “Well, uh, what were you doing before you came up here?”

“Come on,” he said, walking toward the far side of the warehouse. “I’ll show you.”

I hadn’t seen it before, but there was a door on the far wall that was camouflaged almost, like the same color and texture as the wall. If you didn’t know what to look for, you might not even see it. My dad punched in a code on a keypad next to it that was also kinda disguised. The door unlocked, and we went in. It turned out to be a smallish elevator. There was just one button inside, and he pressed it, and I could tell we were descending.

“Wtf,” I said. “It’s underground?”

“Mmhm.”

It actually took kind of a while of going down before we stopped and stuff.

“Wow, we must be pretty deep,” I said.

“Yep,” was all he said.

The door opened, and he motioned for me to follow him. We went out into this long hallway tunnel thing that kinda sloped downward just a little bit.

At the end of it, there was another doorway, this one not hidden or whatever. My dad punched in another set of numbers onto the keypad, and it opened.

When we stepped through, my mind was pretty much blown. We were in like a fancy shopping mall type thing, but I guess it was totally underground? Except, you couldn’t really tell that it was underground because there were tropical plants like inside and also outside the windows and stuff. And like there was sunlight coming in through the windows, and you could see a sort of hazy blue sky and clouds and everything.

My dad saw me looking up at the sky and stuff, and was like, “Dude, holograms.”

“Omfg,” I said. “But what about inside, like the shops and the building and stuff? Holograms too?”

“Nope,” he said. “All real.”

“Goddamn, this is nuts,” I said. It really was nuts. I couldn’t believe how nuts it was.

A few people walked by, carrying shopping bags and stuff. They were dressed like rich people you see at vacation towns near the beach. They didn’t seem to notice us.

After that, a couple of those telepresence robot things drove by, like I’d seen earlier. The iPads on a stick with wheels, basically. With a person’s face on the screen. Controlling them from who knows where.

“So, this is it, then,” I said. “The City, or whatever. I made it…”

He smiled at me, and said, “You made it, Matty. I’m so glad to see you.”

“Me too, dad.”

“I’m sorry things got so fucked up.”

“I know,” I said. “Me too.”

“It’s my fault. I acted like a douche, and stuff.”

I didn’t say anything, but smiled, kind of agreeing.

“But I’ve got a new life or something now. And you’re here. We got another chance. We’re pretty lucky, cause most people don’t get that.”

“We’re super lucky, dad,” I agreed.

“Hey, uh, is there a food court around here or anything? I’m frickin’ starving,” I said.

“Yeah, man. Me too. Let’s go, and I can show you our place later.”

“Our place?” I said.

“Yeah, well, my place. But like, obvs you can stay with me,” he said, pointing me toward the food court. “You know, if you want to, or whatever. I don’t know how long you’re staying and stuff, or really even like if you’re staying. Or how you got here or, well, frickin’ anything. I’m just so happy to see you, Matty. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, dad. I’m happy to. I’ll tell you everything after I get like a frickin’ burger in me and stuff. All I had was like Cheetos and a couple Slim Jims and stuff. And like Powerade and a Rockstar…”

“Totes,” he said. “I know just the place.”

Conspiratopia: Chapter 16

By Tim B.

On 2 September 2021

In Other

“Wow, this is really good and stuff,” I said to my dad, my mouth full of burger. It was really good for real.

“I know, right?” my dad said. It was so cool to see him again. Felt like old times and whatnot.

We were sitting at a small table outside this thing that looked like on of those airport pubs in the underground mall city or whatever where my dad lived now. He was telling me about his job and stuff.

“Yeah, it’s totally cool, and stuff,” he was saying. “My group does a little bit of everything. We’re actually pretty technical. We even do some light maintenance on the robots. Plus like a lot of facilities management, which is really important. Like changing doorknobs or light bulbs. Cleaning up the bathrooms, taking out the trash. You know. It’s a really big deal here cause you know the whole thing’s underground. Well, mostly. So like that’s all we got.”

“Yeah, man,” I said. “Very cool. I guess you must be earning a lot of money and stuff if you do all that.”

“Oh yeah,” he said. “Pretty rad, for sure. Pays decent too. We don’t use dollars actually, but it works out to about fifteen dollars an hour or something, I think.”

I was only making like $10.50 an hour pushing shopping carts at Walmart, so I thought that sounded like a pretty sweet deal.

“And I guess you probably get like a free apartment or something, right?”

“Well, not exactly,” my dad said. “It comes out of my credits and stuff, you know? Just like anywhere. It’s pretty small, but it’s really nice, you’ll see. I even have a fold-out couch you could sleep on. And we can share the mini-fridge.”

“Damn, that sounds nice,” I said. I was missing my mom’s basement for sure, after being cooped up in that pod thing or whatever the hell it was that brought me here. It was good to get some real food in me too, and I was feeling like I was getting back to normal. Maybe even a new normal, and stuff. Here with my dad. I didn’t know yet what I was gonna do. If I was gonna stay or whatever, or like if I could even leave if that drone was already gone.

“What did you call this burger again?” I asked him.

“Radmeat,” he said.

“That’s a rad name,” I replied.

“I know. We make it locally too. Well, not me we, but like it’s made here by another group.”

“What do you mean it’s made?” I said, suddenly slowing down as I chewed.

“Yeah,” he said. “There’s no red meat here because we’re underground and on an island and stuff. It would be really expensive to get it shipped or flown in or whatever. So we have radmeat instead. They make it in big vats here from like…”

I put the burger down. “Vats?”

“Yeah, I mean I don’t know the technical terms. But its like, ah, cultured meat and vegetable proteins, I think?”

“Well, that doesn’t sound so bad, I guess,” I said, reconsidering.

“Yeah, no. It’s actually really cool. I think it’s made from uh, rat embryos, edible insects, and, um, lentils or something. At least I think, that’s what they say around the shop at work.”

“So, Radmeat is actually rat meat?”

“Well, not only that. Also cockroaches and lentils.”

“Well, I do like lentils, actually,” I said, picking up the burger again to look at it more closely. It just looked – and tasted – like a burger. No like rat parts or bugs legs or anything sticking out of it. I took another bite, and decided I didn’t care. Thinking about lentils made me miss my mom though. She was gonna be pissed about the car, and I couldn’t just disappear on her. Well, like dad did.

“Dad,” I said, “I just realized I gotta call mom. She’s gonna be super worried and stuff.”

“When did you talk to her last?”

“I told her I got a new job and was gonna crash at Mikey’s for a couple days. Only problem is idk how long ago that was now. Could be a couple days I guess. Can I call her? My phone’s dead.”

“We’ll have to get permission,” he said. “But I’ll make sure we can get it soon.”

“Permission?” I said, confused.

“To contact the outside world, yeah. People in our group have restricted contact.”

“Wth?” I said. “That sounds sketchy af. Is this like a cult or something? You can’t contact anybody without permission?”

“Dude, relax. You know me. Would I ever join a cult?” he said.

I thought about it for a minute and decided I wasn’t sure.

Just then, my dad’s phone beeped and buzzed. He took it out and looked at it.

“Okay, we gotta go,” he said. “It’s our turn.”

“Our turn for what?” I asked.

“To see the big guy, and figure out what you’re doing here.”

Conspiratopia: Chapter 17

By Tim B.

On 3 September 2021

In Other

For meeting someone supposedly so important, we just went to this small room that didn’t look like anything special. There were a couple cushioned folding chairs and a table, and that was about it and stuff. We sat down and my dad closed the door and we waited.

“You nervous?” he said.

“Idk, should I be?” I still didn’t really know what I was doing there, or what this was all about.

Just then, the lights dimmed and stuff and music started playing or whatever. It was the intro to Us and Them by Pink Floyd, and I was all like yesssss.

After a minute, suddenly there was a hologram of this random-looking symbol that showed up kind of floating on the other side of the table. I realized then there were little holographic projector dealies hidden in the walls and ceiling.

The symbol went away, and there was like… the Wizard of Oz and stuff? Like from the old ass movie or something. Except there was no Dorothy or the robot guy, and no ugly lion or whatever. It was just the weird like all alien-looking face of the wizard. And there were like flashes of fire and smoke and stuff. It looked totally legit as hell and was timed perfectly with the music. It was actually sweet as hell.

“Sweet,” I said out loud.

“Totally,” my dad said.

The singing part of that song kicked in (which rocks), and I started to feel like I was frickin’ tripping, cause like the Wizard of Oz on the hologram was singing and stuff…

“Us and them
And after all we’re only ordinary men
Me and you
God only knows
It’s not what we would choose to do”

The Wizard stopped singing, but the music kept going in the background, and then he talked to us. Me, I guess.

He was all like, “Yo, dude. How’s it hangin’?”

“Uh, alright I guess. You?” I said.

“Can’t complain. Can’t complain,” the Wizard alien-looking hologram dude said. “Hey, thanks for coming out here. Great to see you and stuff. You liking it so far?”

“Uh, yeah. I mean, it’s fine.”

“Cool, cool. So, what can I do ya for?” said the Wizard.

My dad jumped in, “Well, we were, uh, kinda hoping you could help us figure out what’s next for for Matty here.”

“Got it. Coolio. Gimme a sec to review the files,” said the Wizard. His eyes light up and stuff while he did that.

His eyes went back to normal.

“Okay, let’s see. Well, we’ve actually got an opening that might be compatible…”

“That’s great,” said my dad, looking over at me and squeezing my shoulder.

“It’s in your work group even, actually,” said the Wizard to my dad.

“Whoa, awesome,” I said. “What is it?”

“Well,” said the Wizard. “We’ve identified a workflow issue in certain retail areas that we need to throw bodies at until we find a better solution.”

“Lucky,” said my dad. “That’s how I got my start too. So what would the job be exactly?”

“Our electrical shopping cart system is broken. So they aren’t able to return themselves to the store like they should be after customers finish shopping. They end up stuck in unusual places, and so…”

“So,” I interrupted. “The job would be pushing shopping carts?”

“Basically,” said the Wizard, and there was another flash of fire.

“What do you think?” said my dad, looking at me.

“How much does it pay?” I asked.

“Money,” said the Wizard, and the song switched to Money by Pink Floyd, “as you may know, does not work the same here as it does in the outside world.”

“So I hear,” I said.

“But,” said the Wizard. “It would work out to something like… $10.75 an hour in your dollars.”

“Whoa,” I said. “That’s a twenty five cents an hour raise from Walmart!”

“Totes,” said the Wizard. “Plus you could watch films or play games or whatever you want during overwriting sessions.”

“You mean… nanites?”

“Yeah, bro,” said the Wizard. “Though, we have other systems besides nanites if you prefer. But pretty much everybody here works on overwrite, except when protocols call for manual mode for some reason. It’s just more efficient.”

My dad was nodding like crazy. “It’s awesome, Matty. You’ll see.”

Hm, I thought. I could make more money than I was making back home, and I could frickin’ play video games while doing it? I didn’t have to think about it all that hard.

“Well, sign me the eff up!” I said.

Conspiratopia: Chapter 18

By Tim B.

On 7 September 2021

In Other

We walked back after that in the direction of my dad’s apartment and stuff. The underground mall thing was super huge, holy crap.

After a while, I was all like, “Dude, but what am I gonna tell mom?” The Wizard of Oz hologram thing had given me permission to make one phone call (monitored) to my mom.

And my dad was all like, “Dude, listen. Just tell her the truth and stuff. You got a new job and you’re gonna go try out living with your dad for a while.”

“I don’t think she’s gonna like that very much, you know?” I said. “She sorta hates you, and is worried I’m gonna turn out just like you.”

“Haha,” my dad said. “Well, she’s entitled to her opinions, but it’s up to you to decide how your life turns out. Do you wanna live in the basement with her for the rest of your life?”

I was all like, “I mean, it’s pretty cool. It’s not actually so bad, when she isn’t hassling me about getting a job or cleaning up. It’s almost like having my own apartment and stuff.”

“Then fine, stay with her, and have your life be how it is now forever, if it’s really that cool and stuff,” my dad said. “Or stay here, and try out how it could be if you created your own life and did something different.”

“I mean, I signed the contract…” I said. “I’m staying. I’m just saying, she’s not gonna like it very much. And anyway, what if she asks where we are? I’m not supposed to say anything about the island or the project, or they said I’ll get kicked out. What am I supposed to tell her?”

“Tell her I have a place in the next county. She hates driving, and she hates me, so she’ll never actually check.”

“But she’ll want me to visit her all the time, and stuff,” I said. I was sure of it. “I’m sure of it, you know?”

My dad was like, “Just tell her you have a 90 day training & probationary period with the new job, and they asked if you could start right away, so you won’t be able to see her in a while and stuff.”

“Okay, I guess. Idk,” I said.

When we got to his place, it was actually pretty small. A tiny living room/kitchen with a couch and a TV, a mid-sized fridge, a hot plate, a microwave, sink, etc. Plus a small bathroom with a shower, and a bedroom and stuff.

“You can sleep on the couch. It folds out too. And you can stay as long as you want, or until you find a place, or whatever. Whatever you want, you know? You’re always welcome here.”

“Thanks, bro,” I said. I wasn’t actually ready to think much about the future. I was just like dreading talking to my mom and like telling her I was moving out, and stuff, and how she was gonna react. I mean, I didn’t have any clue how she was gonna react, but I thought she was probably gonna scream or like freak out or something when I told her about dad and everything. I didn’t think she wanted me to move out or anything, you know?

But when I finally called her and stuff, it basically was super short and went like this:

“Hey ma,”

“Hi honey, congratulations about that new job, that’s great. I’m so proud of you.”

“Yeah, mom, thanks. Listen, uh, they want me to start right away with training and everything, you know.”

“Good for you, honey.”

“And it’s out in the county. Um, the next county over, actually.”

“Okay, do you have a place to stay out there, or…?”

“Uh, yeah, somebody from the company is putting me up with them. You know, until I find a place, or…”

“Until you find a place?”

“Yeah, Idk yet. If the job goes good, they might ask me to stay out there. I guess there are more positions available and stuff. Cause they have a bunch of warehouses out there, and only one here.”

“Okay, honey. I’m glad for you.”

“You are?”

“Of course.”

“I thought you’d be like you know mad and stuff or something.”

“Why would I be mad? This is your life, you gotta go out and live it, Matty.”

“Thanks mom, I’m glad to like hear that and stuff. It means a lot to me. Oh, and about your car.”

“Oh, someone from the company dropped it off this morning. And it was vacuumed and polished too. Immaculate. This must be a very top notch company.”

“Oh, it definitely is mom. Lots of you know, room for growth too.”

“Well that’s nice honey. I have to go meet Fran now, but it’s great to hear from you, and I’m so happy for you. Call me once you’re in and settled. You know, if you have a chance, and stuff.”

“I will mom, thanks. Have a good time. Bye.”

Conspiratopia: Chapter 19

By Tim B.

On 7 September 2021

In Other

Pushing shopping carts at the Conspiratopia Project was way better and different than pushing shopping carts at Walmart. That’s for sure! Never mind I was making like twenty cents more and hour, which ruled.

For one, like they were all electric and crap. But like, that was kinda the problem and stuff. Cause the electronics and stuff weren’t working right. So now they were just like ordinary dumb shopping carts. Except they were like extra heavy and awkward because of the self-driving stuff added underneath. And like, because they weren’t meant to be used that way and stuff, you couldn’t really stack them together inside each other, and push a bunch of them at the same time.

I was really good at it though, so like I figured out how you could sort of push two or three at least a little bit, depending where you were. I think it’s cause I’m like such a good gamer and stuff. And I like puzzles. So it was totally cool. In fact, the first few days I was so super into it that when they asked me at the shop if I wanted to turn on autopilot, I said no. Plus anyway it kinda gave me a chance to walk around and look at stuff, and learn where everything is in the mall on my own.

Well, not everything, cause not all areas were like rated for smart carts and stuff. But sometimes people took them outside designated zones, and um I had to use like this little handheld radar thingy to try to go figure out where the hell it was. It was really fun.

My dad and I were put on alternating shifts, so for a while I didn’t actually even see him all that much. Sometimes we got to eat dinner or breakfast or something together. A couple times our days off lined up, and we got shitfaced together on beers and weed and stuff, so that was really fun. Or me or him would have fallen asleep watching TV and would come in from a shift and wake the other one up. That was alright though, cause it would give us a chance to catch up for a few minutes.

After a while though – I don’t know how long it was, maybe a couple weeks or something – it started to get a little repetitive. I started letting them turn on autopilot and doing overwrite sessions at work. That was actually pretty cool though too. Cause like even though you could turn it on and watch a movie or something, you could also just like turn it on, but then watch. They called this “maintaining peripherals.” And like your body and stuff would just keep going, even if you didn’t do anything. It’s hard to explain really the feeling, what it was like. I mean it was like somebody else was running your body and what you saw or did was like a film. It was a little weird, but also like totally cool because it meant you could zone out really. Or like even take a nap if you turned off peripherals, or turned them down low enough. And that was really cool. Or you could like mix a film or game with peripherals anyway you wanted, as an overlay, or like in a little picture-in-picture window thing.

Sometimes I liked to mix games with where I was in the mall IRL. So like while my body was collecting smart carts, I could be like running around in a first-person shooter in that same place, and pretending to throw grenades and stuff at shoppers or whatever. Or I could be like a sniper hiding up somewhere, and I could watch my own body pass by pushing shopping carts and shoot myself. It was totally cool.

Once I got into that, I actually ended up joining some of the games that my dad and his friends did during overwriting, and that was really fun as hell. So I ended up seeing my dad actually more during games than IRL, especially cause sometimes I would go home from work and play games during my off hours, instead of sleeping.

They had some really sick games there, actually. Way better than the stuff you see commercially on the outside. Ten times more advanced graphics and game play and stuff. Apparently according to my contract, I’m not supposed to talk much more about it than that or something. My dad said it had to do with the AI’s that run the place. Because they were really good at making games and shit. He was totally right. That stuff was sweet as hell. It made me glad I moved there.

I actually stopped going on message boards and stuff, because there really weren’t any. Not any good ones anyway. The internet on the inside was not like the internet on the outside. Everything was focused around games and stuff for the people who lived and worked there. And it was really just one big platform run by the Project, and it was all pretty boring and stuff.

There were like some channels where people talked about conspiracy theories and whatnot still. Just for fun I liked to check them out. Sometimes a new group would form that tried to be anonymous and stuff, and they would come up with some crazy theory about how the AI administrators of the Project were like going insane and gonna kill everybody one of these days. But like nobody cared that much IRL, because IRL we were all pretty much doing virtual shit or game shit all the time that was much more interesting than a bunch of old farts sitting around and whining in chatrooms.

Plus like, you couldn’t really be actually anonymous there, which was a little weird at first, but then I got used to it. There were always like a bunch of cameras and sensors that were like watching or measuring or something. But it wasn’t really invasive. It was more like idk fun and even reassuring or something? Like I always felt totally safe. Like the AI’s always had my back.

I never got scared or anything when they turned on autopilot. I would get hella stoned before, and would just like ride the wave. You know? Surf that shit. I heard some people freaked out and stuff, and they had to like operate on them or send them away, because workers who couldn’t be overwritten were a drain on resources. And they hated that. They hated like waste and stuff, which I totally started to get into. I hate it now too. I’m into like efficiency and stuff, you know? Improving my percent scores. Shaving milliseconds off of completion of micro-tasks and stuff. It’s totally rad.

That’s why when they asked for volunteers for a like dangerous experimental job to improve efficiency, I volunteered like right away. If I successfully finished the job, I would end up earning a lot of credits and bonus multipliers and stuff that the algorithm would boost my rankings with, so I could finally become a citizen. It sounded like it was gonna be totally cool.