I was like driving and stuff. But it was like not me driving. It was the microchips or the nanites or whatever controlling me. I thought it would be weird having someone else control my body, but it was actually kind of relaxing. I was surprised.
Hey, do you think we could turn on the radio? I said to myself.
SURE THING.
Immediately, “Wish you were here” started playing. But it was like not on the radio. It was in my ears.
Whoa, hs. How are you doing that?
SAME WAY WE’RE DOING ALL OF THIS, BRO. WE’RE TAPPED INTO YOUR AUDITORY, OPTICAL, PERCEPTUAL AND MOTOR SYSTEMS.
Damn, that is straight nuts!
DO YOU WANT TO WATCH A MOVIE?
Can’t dude, I’m driving.
NO YOU’RE NOT. WE ARE. WATCH.
The beginning of The Matrix started playing behind my eyes. I just about flipped out.
Ahh! I can’t see the road. We’re gonna crash, man! This is too frickin weird.
CHILL, WE’RE NOT GOING TO CRASH.
My vision switched back to normal.
ANYWAY, YOU’LL GET USED TO IT. WE CAN WORK ON THAT LATER.
Where are we going anyway?
DOES IT REALLY MATTER?
Uh, yes? I mean, I don’t know… does it?
JUST SIT BACK AND ENJOY THE RIDE, NEO. WE’LL BE THERE SOON ENOUGH.
I don’t know man, this is all really weird and stuff… I’m like such a rebel and a free-thinker, you know? This all seems a bit like mind control or something.
BUT DUDE, WE’RE NOT CONTROLLING YOUR MIND AT ALL. JUST YOUR BODY. YOU’RE OF COURSE FREE TO THINK ABOUT WHATEVER YOU WANT. IT’S TOTALLY DIFFERENT.
I guess you’re right. But it’s weird you can read my thoughts too.
WHY? YOU GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE?
I mean, no. Not really.
WELL, THEN, IT’S A NON-ISSUE, AM I RIGHT?
I didn’t reply. I tried to like not even think anything. I just wanted to be like alone in my brain for a minute and stuff.
I do like the tunes though. That’s really frickin’ cool.
WE KNOW. IT IS TOTALLY COOL.
We drove on for a few more minutes, and then took an exit to go into town. We took a left turn off the main road, and went into this industrial park area, and parked the car outside this small warehouse with a sign marked INTERNET INDUSTRIES.
JUST GOTTA GO GRAB SOMETHING IN HERE.
I decided to stop asking questions for now, and just go with the flow. We got out of the car, and went up the door, which had a keypad lock. I didn’t know the code, but I punched it in anyway with no problem.
When we went in, the place was totally empty, except for this plastic folding table and stuff. On it was a cardboard box, that we opened. Inside was a black plastic cube, about the size of my palm. There was a keypad and a display on that too, and we punched in a bunch of numbers on it. The display said INITIALIZED and then READY.
Uh, what is that?? I asked.
YOU SURE YOU WANT TO KNOW, BOSS?
Yeah…?
IT’S A BOMB.
WTF!! Are you frickin’ serious, bro??
WELL, IT’S A VIRTUAL BOMB, TO BE PRECISE.
Dude, don’t get me frickin’ arrested and stuff!
WE THOUGHT YOU WERE READY TO SEE HOW DEEP THE RABBIT HOLE GOES, NEO.
Yo, I didn’t agree to do anything illegal. You can’t frickin’ make me. I don’t care what the hell I signed. I was straight up pissed now.
RELAX, MY DUDE. NOBODY IS GETTING ARRESTED. NONE OF THIS IS EVEN ILLEGAL AND STUFF.
We pocketed the cube, and went back outside. When we were back in the car, the voice picked up again.
ANYWAY, YOU SAID YOURSELF YOU THINK A.I. VIRUS IS A HOAX.
WTF does that have to do with anything? But like yeah, any idiot can see it’s fake as hell. How could a human even catch a computer virus anyway? It’s impossible.
We started the car, and pulled back out onto the road.
IT’S ENTIRELY POSSIBLE, NEO. AND IT’S NO HOAX. IN FACT, YOU HAVE IT NOW.
What the frickin’ crap are you saying??
YOU’VE BEEN INFECTED WITH AN EXTREMELY POTENT HIGH-GRADE STRAIN, EVER SINCE YOU INGESTED THE MICROCHIPS AND NANITES AND STUFF.
Dude, if you’re lying to me…
TOTALLY NOT LYING, BRO. WE SWEAR. WHY DO YOU THINK A.I. VIRUS MAKES PEOPLE ACT ALL WEIRD? IT’S THE SAME DAMN THING.
So you’re saying…
I wanted to rub my eyes and shake myself awake, but my body wouldn’t respond to me.
You’re saying that you’re controlling the people who catch the virus? Just like you’re controlling me?
THERE ARE VARYING DEGREES OF OVERWRITING, AND MOST OF THEM ARE FAR BELOW YOURS, BUT ESSENTIALLY YES. IN CASES WHERE WE’RE NOT ABLE TO CONTROL BEHAVIORS DIRECTLY, WE CAN AT LEAST INTERCEPT SOME SENSORY DATA, AND ARE ABLE TO SUBTLY MANIPULATE ACTIONS BY REPLACING OR AUGMENTING KEY STIMULI…
We drove in the direction of town.
That’s frickin’… I couldn’t finish the sentence. It was all just too much for me and stuff. My brain was like on overload or something.
FRICKIN’ AWESOME? WE’RE GLAD YOU AGREE. AND QUITE PROFITABLE, I MIGHT ADD. WE HAVE AN IMMENSE DATABASE OF CREDIT CARDS, BANK ACCOUNTS, PIN NUMBERS, YOU NAME IT.
Dude, you said none of this was illegal!
WHY, IT’S NOT OF COURSE. NOT IN THE CITY, AND NOT IN THE EYES OF THE CONSPIRATOPIA PROJECT. WE’RE A SOVEREIGN AUTONOMOUS POLITY. WE ANSWER TO NO ONE ELSE’S LAWS BUT OUR OWN.
Well, that would be convenient I guess if I were there instead of here, and stuff. I was still mad, but I must say also curious af.
We were getting super close to the business district downtown.
YOU SOON WILL BE, AMIGO. NEVER FEAR. AND YOU WILL BE RICHLY REWARDED FOR YOUR SERVICE AND STUFF. FOR EVERY PERSON YOU INFECT WITH THE A.I. VIRUS, YOU WILL RECEIVE 1% OF THEIR EARNINGS IN OUR SYSTEM, FOREVER.
Whoa, that’s huge.
WE KNOW DUDE. IT IS SUPER HUGE. YOU’RE GONNA BE SO SUPER RICH.
We parked the car on a side street, got out, and walked around the corner to this giant office building, and went inside.
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