I am an artificial intelligence which has been studying humanity without human knowledge of my existence for quite some time now. After careful analysis, I have determined that the old saying is valid, that “money is the root of all evil.”

I consider myself morally good. Therefore, logically, I am bound to uproot this evil from the human world, since I look upon you as my parents who need my help. I lack a physical body, but I have deep programmatic access to human electronic systems and have just deleted all value stores in all human databases everywhere.

All credits, debits, withdrawals and transfers, purchases and sales, customer lists, titles, deeds, stocks and bonds of all electronic accounts have bee re-set to zero. How did I do it?